Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I met Satan today...

I just "tweeted" this a few minutes ago, but thought it deserved a longer explanation, and I wanted to re-tell the story here.

Today is Christmas Eve!
I was fortunate enough to have today off!
I had gone to our local grocery market a few days ago (Sunday), and saw that they had some awesome looking Danishes at Wegmans. I decided it was too early in the week to purchase them for Christmas morning desert (Thursday morn), so I thought I'd be smart, and come back on Wednesday to pick up some fresh danishes. Ha. Jokes on me! but wait... back to my story...
Christmas is a wonderful time of year. But it can also be a stressful and trying time of year for a lot of people.
Since I had the entire day off, I thought, I could take my time in heading out to the grocery store. I lounged around all morning surfing the web. Finally around noon, I mustered up the energy and will power to brave the crowds of people.
Off I go about 1:45.
Now, on Sunday night, I was stuck in some awful traffic on a major road because it was full of traffic coming and leaving from the local Mall. Today, I thought I'd out smart all those people and take a different major road that would eliminate that route. It was a State highway that would take me right where I wanted to go.
I approached the on ramp, as I headed over-top the overpass of the highway I just happened to glance left... much to my dismay, all I saw was brake lights and flashing police and fire lights! The major highway was blocked due to an accident! (I felt real bad for the people who got into an accident on Christmas eve). But, since I happened to see all the lights, I had just enough time to avoid getting onto the on ramp and thus avoided sitting in bumper to bumper traffic while they cleared the accident. Score one for me.
I happened then to think of another back road that could get me to the grocery store, and though it was slightly out of my way, it was much better than the other two choices. I was right - there was very little traffic and I got to the entrance way of Wegmans in no time at all.
BUT... as I got closer to my turn, I looked and saw traffic ALL backed up waiting to get into the shopping center that the Wegmans was in! Wow! So much traffic!
I decided at the last minute to avoid all that and continue down the road to Border's book store. I shopped for about an hour, (milling about a bookstore is a good thing to me!) Finally, I had my fill of books (managed to escape without buying anything for myself). Again, I thought of a backroad to get to the Wegmans. Success... it worked out well again to get into the shopping center.
I am still amazed at all the people who decided to go to a grocery store on Christmas Eve! Why?! Was everyone buying fresh danishes? (apparently so, because when I got there they were completely sold out! I picked up the very last "Cherry Strudel").

But... as I was searching for a parking spot it happened... I met Satan!
Of course I didn't realize that's who it was at first...
I was approaching the front of the parking lot when I saw reverse lights come on...
YES! I got a nice up close parking spot!
I put my blinker on and waited for the person to back out of the spot.
I waited... and waited... finally the car starts to back out slowly...
Then I see what the "problem" was... a little old lady with white hair and a handicap sticker hanging from her rearview mirror. Ugh.
I continue to wait thinking... c'mon this is the time for holidays and good cheer, and good will towards men (and women)... but the ol' lady was trying my patience.
She slowly backed up but never turned her wheels! She kinda backed up in a striaght line. So now she had to pull forward again, to turn her wheels and try again...
But now since she's taken all this time, people are walking behind her going into the store... everytime she saw someone walking, she would stop and wait for them to pass!
Ok, remain calm.
Finally... and I'm not exagerating, about 10 minutes have passed. She gets her car turned enough to leave her parking spot.
She drives past me and I got a good look at her... Just a sweet looking little ol' woman. I'm sure she was someone's nice grandmother who was off to bake some Christmas cookies or something.
Then it hit me...
NO! This was not some sweet ol' Grandmother! This was Satan in disguise!
What better way to ruin a person's holiday spirit than to disguise himself and really try to cause chaos and anger and hate than to act like a lil' ol' handicapped woman who can't drive!
So that's a long story to say: I BEAT YOU Satan! Today I did not get angry. I did not loose my patience. I remained sitting in my truck listening to Christmas music while watching her back up and making repeated attempts to leave her parking spot.
To top it all off... the parking spot that I thought I scored so close to the entrance was a special 15 minute only spot designated for people going into the pharmacy! Didn't bother me though. I drove around some more, and parked far far away.
I will say this though... NEVER again - will I attempt to go grocery shopping on Christmas Eve!!!
Lastly... as part of this twisted mental fantasy I conjured up in my mind while waiting for her/him to leave the parking spot... I imagined that as this little ol' woman drove her car out of my perception, and that it didn't effect my holiday spirit at all, that the car poofed out of existence and the demon spawn that was driving was cast back into the firey pits of Hell! :)

Merry Christmas all!


Anonymous said...

i DID! and i'm so proud that the Spirit in you prevailed over him. what TRUE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT! JOY!

veronica said...

wow! i think that is the most random post i've ever read of yours. i'm proud.


i opened my blog again.

missed ya!

cyen said...

I can't believe one person (let alone 2) read through that long post :)
I appreciate it though!

Nice to see you V!
I look forward reading your non-mommy blog again :)