Tuesday, February 26, 2008


Can someone help me out here?
To quote a famous movie line "Do you understand the words comin' outta my mouth?"
I don't usually like to get too personal here with my blog but today I'm gonna break that a little.
I had a bad day.
Not for what most people would claim as legit reasons for having a bad day (losing something important, something broke, job stress, family problems, etc...) No, my bad day was caused by a combination of my thoughts and other people's thoughts.
3 times today - I've been completely misunderstood. I'm not really talking about like someone mis-hears something I said, or misinterprets a statement. What I'm talking about are people not understanding my point of view. My logic.
I consider myself a logical person. I like to play chess (the epitome of logic if you ask me).
A few days ago, I got into a debate online on a message board with someone regarding copyright issues and Creative Commons. I thought (mistakenly) that if I just pointed out their mistake (nicely) that they would correct the mistake. I believe someone misused some photographs by posting them to a blog and not giving the photographer any credit.
To me, it seemed just "common sense" that perhaps the blogger just overlooked.
(yes, one of the photos was mine, but I never brought that fact up, I didn't want to seem petty... at the same time, I wanted to get my due recognition for taking the photo).
I also have not taken the position of making a demand either ie: Either you give me credit, or take my photo off your website. I admire this particular blog.
But I still felt I was "right".
So I made an "anonymous" post suggesting that "perhaps" you may have violated the license agreements...
Well, rather than admit to his mistake, he proceeded to debate the issue with me. Fine... I always enjoy a good debate. Plus, I thought, if I could just clearly lay out my logic, he would understand. Not so. Instead he argued his logic (which to me seemed borderline crazy).
I've pretty much just dropped the debate, because I realized no matter what I say, he won't listen. He believes he's right, and won't give the photographers credit. I'm not willing to take it to the next step by getting nasty.
Then this morning, my good friend emails me some more anti-global warming arguments. He and I have had a GOOD LONG debate on this issue via email. Again... it seems so clear to me... If I just present him with the "facts" then he'll understand. No so. For every fact I present, he presents an opposite one (usually from a person who works for the big oil company).
Then the last issue was something that came up at work. Again, I presented my points, and did not make one bit of headway.
So tonight... I'm just wondering... is it me?
Do my blogposts make any sense to anyone? Am I going a little crazy here?
Perhaps I don't know how to debate with people... I don't believe in raising my voice to get my point across (I do though sometimes if I get heated, but I try not to). Maybe I don't know how to communicate well?
So PLEASE - I'm beggin here...
If you find this post on the intertubes... leave me a comment to tell me I'm not crazy.
That some (even if it's a small piece) of what I say actually makes sense to you. A simple "your not crazy" will suffice.
Now I think I'm gonna go wrap myself in a blanket and go rock in the corner now.


JWD said...

Sorry, Bro.

It's hard to feel misunderstood! Hang in there. Some people don't engage in conversations with an open mind - so it doesn't matter what you say, they're already set in their ways.

I also think fewer people know how to engage in real conversation. Folks tend to think that they need to convince someone of their own position, instead of genuinely engaging one another in thoughtful reflection.

cyen said...

TY :)

JWD said...

After reading your post last night, I keep thinking about
this book by Utne Reader.
You might like it!

Hmmm. Actually, I might like it, too. :)

cyen said...

Thanks JWD!
Ordered! :)
Oh how I have such a love/hate relationship with Amazon Prime ;)

You're free to borrow/have my copy when I'm done. If not, you better order quickly there were only three left when I placed my order (2 now).

ok, looks like I have a new topic to google on my lunch break today.

Anonymous said...

no, you're not crazy. not everyone is a "thinker" like you, however. as a result, many times, they are just robotically repetitive with their remark/s and not listening to anyone else's thoughts. As jwd states (more eloquently) few people know how to engage in real conversation.
Don't take it personally (too late, huh?); just be thankful that you know how to be logical. Logic is a "lost art."

cyen said...

Thanks Anon!
Today's Quote on my google homepage is very fitting...
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.
- William James"